Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
