They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You were trust falling into bushes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize