I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
