Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
