i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
