Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
