But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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