i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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