I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
