watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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