I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
