Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
