HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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