My room smells like vodka and shame
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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