WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
be right there i have to get my cape
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
