I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
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You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
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Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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