no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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