ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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