someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
two words: eviction party
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize