just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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