i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
