apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
