Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
