Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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