Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
