i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
