Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The air was thick with penises
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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