I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
please come you make the beer taste better
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
