well I can't set my house on fire every night
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize