Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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