yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
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I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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