...so i touched it.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
