Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize