My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize