its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize