Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
