forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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