Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
