I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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