I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
