She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
