my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
