oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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