I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
