lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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