After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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