She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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