i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize