I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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