I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize