can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize