My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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