talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
