Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize