dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
