Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
