I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
