Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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