omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
