do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize