I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
