I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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