my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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